


Even if We Can't Find Heaven

by StaciNadia



Series: Sterek Week '19 [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek Hale, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things, Derek Hale Feels, First Kiss, Loyal Stiles Stilinski, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Protective Derek Hale, Protective Stiles Stilinski, Songfic, Sterek Week 2019, Stereklyrics5, Stiles Stilinski Loves Derek Hale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 06:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21266222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StaciNadia/pseuds/StaciNadia
Summary: Stiles tries to convince Derek that he will never be alone.





	Even if We Can't Find Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> For the second day of Sterek Week 2019, Lyrics and Quotes! I've known that I've wanted to write a fic based on Rachel Platten's "[Stand by You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3blT1IRafU)" since last year's Sterek Week, but I finally did it this year! Stiles would absolutely stand by Derek no matter what! Plenty of Derek feels and angst here, but there's always a happy ending! It took forever to get just right, and I'm so sorry with how late this is...
> 
> The title is taken from one of the lyrics of the song.
> 
> The circumstances of the nervous breakdown are mentioned in the bottom notes, so skip ahead to them if there might be something upsetting for you.

Stiles groaned in contentment as he sank into one of Derek’s plush sofas. He closed his eyes, focusing on anything but the minor pain in his bandaged arm. “Well, that’s over.”

“For now,” Derek reminded him.

“You don’t have to be such a Sourwolf all the time, you know,” Stiles grumbled.

It had been another night with another monster to fight. This time it had been a pair of omegas feral with rage. Stiles, Scott, Allison, Erica, Boyd, and of course Derek had teamed up to fight them. They had all returned to Derek’s loft, their base of operations, after the battle to regroup and heal, like they always did. But everyone else had left already by that time and only Stiles still remained at the loft, and he didn’t want to move a muscle from the comfortable couch. He could practically fall asleep there.

Stiles heard rather than saw Derek sit on the couch opposite his. “Why are you still here, Stiles?” Derek asked.

“Because I’m comfortable and I don’t want to move,” Stiles responded. “Besides, Dad’s not home, so I’d be there alone, and I don’t want to be. You mind if I stay here tonight?”

It wouldn’t be the first time that Stiles had stayed over at Derek’s loft. He’d slept there several times before. Derek had even let Stiles sleep in his bed some of the time, and that was pretty big for a werewolf to allow someone else in their room.

But Derek wasn’t answering him.

Stiles opened an eye and glanced over at him. The werewolf’s shoulders were slumped and his eyes looked tired, as if he had the weight of the whole world on his shoulders. “Hey, big guy,” Stiles said softly. “You okay?”

Derek turned his head away and murmured something too soft for Stiles’ human ears to pick up.

“Can you repeat that? I didn’t catch what you said.”

“I don’t know why you’re all here!” Derek yelled unexpectedly, his eyes flashing alpha red as he jumped to his feet. “None of you deserve to deal with all the supernatural crap that Beacon Hills and the Nemeton draw here! You all should be off living your lives away from here!”

“But we‘re pack,” Stiles protested, trying not to flail while he pulled himself up to a sitting position. Derek hadn’t shown anger like that around him in a long time. “We have to be here to help you!” 

“And _you_!” Derek continued. “You’re not a wolf! You don’t have anything tying you here to Beacon Hills! Why can’t you just stay away, live your life, and be safe away from here?” Derek’s voice broke a little at the end and he sank back on the couch.

Stiles was beyond concerned. He knew that Derek had a martyr complex the size of Texas due to the guilt he felt over the death of his family, but it seemed like the man was having a nervous breakdown, and Stiles was desperate to help him.

Stiles had always been attracted to Derek, all the way back to when he and Scott were sophomores in high school and Scott had just gotten bit. At first, it had just been a physical attraction, because Derek could have been a model if he really wanted to. But then Derek had slowly started revealing parts of himself, like that he liked to read history novels and that he spoke five different languages and that beautiful smile of his that showed his bunny teeth started to show more, and Stiles fell for him hard, harder than he’d ever done with Lydia. And with Derek allowing him to stay in his bedroom and wanting him to be safe, Stiles suspected, or rather _hoped_, that Derek maybe felt something for him as well.

“Hey, now,” he protested, “my dad’s the Sheriff, so I’m always gonna be tied to Beacon Hills through him, and Scott’s my best friend. Not to mention I’m part of this pack too and you can’t deny it. I don’t want to be safe while you’re all in danger and I can do something to help.”

“But…,” Derek protested weakly.

“But nothing,” Stiles said gently. 

After all this time, Stiles had come to understood the brooding alpha. Derek might have a flawless face and body, but his mind bore the scars from his difficult past, and they would probably always affect him. And he pushed people away in an attempt to protect them from him, which was ridiculous, because Derek was a good person. He’d gotten better at it over the years, but he was retreating back to his old habits. 

“You don’t deserve this,” Derek tried again. “I’m a Hale. My mother… When my mother was here, most of these creatures would never dare come to Beacon Hills. But now I’m the only Hale, and everyone thinks this territory’s easy pickings. I have to be here. I’m the alpha, and a Hale. No one else needs to be here.”

“Do you really want to make the rest of the pack omegas?” Stiles asked. “Do you want them to go as feral as those two omegas today were?”

“Of course not,” Derek muttered, then let out a long breath. “I’ve really screwed up, haven’t I, Stiles?” 

No. No, no, no, no, no. The open vulnerability in his expression _hurt_ Stiles to see. Derek did not deserve to be feeling like this, and it wasn’t just because Stiles was in love with him. Derek deserved calm and relaxation and maybe a latte and a nice book while sitting in a bookstore while wearing one of those thumbhole sweaters that Stiles absolutely loved to see him in. 

“Never,” Stiles told him fervently. He thought about it, then quickly amended, “Well, you weren’t the best alpha in the beginning, you know. All grrs and broodiness. But now, you’ve really taken it in stride. You’re not so rough with the betas. You teach us everything you know and if you didn’t know, you looked in your family vault. You’ve made alliances, not just with the Ito pack, but other nearby packs as well. You’re a lot softer, and that’s a really good thing. You‘ve grown into a good alpha.”

Derek’s mouth slightly opened. “Do you really think so, Stiles?”

“Absolutely,” Stiles answered and knew that Derek would hear his steady heartbeat. 

“You know, I wish the Nemeton wasn’t a beacon here anymore, and everything was nice and calm,” Derek said wistfully. “Nothing trying to take over. Nothing to fight. It’d be like…“ He paused while he thought of the right word. “Like heaven.”

Stiles pictured the whole pack happy and at peace, maybe with children, a new generation of the Hale pack. “That does sound pretty awesome,” he said, feeling pretty wistful himself

“And what if that doesn‘t happen?” Derek asked him softly, his shoulders slumped again. “What if we don’t get heaven?”

“Then I will be with you in Hell for every single moment,” Stiles vowed, pouring every ounce of his love and loyalty into his words so that Derek would be absolutely convinced of them. “You’re not alone, Derek. You’ve never been alone. You have the pack, and you have me. I’m here, and I’ll always be here. I‘ll help you and this pack soar!” 

“You can’t promise that,” Derek said, doubt creeping in his voice. “You’re human in a world with werewolves and demons and faeries and everything else you can imagine.”

“You’re right,” Stiles agreed, and Derek’s eyes widened at him admitting that. “Doesn’t matter, though. You’ve known since the beginning that I’m going to protect you. Remember the pool in the beginning?”

Derek nodded.

“Well, you should know by now that I’m completely involved and nothing you or anyone could say would make me leave the supernatural world. I’m completely in this for as long as I live, and I plan on living to be an old man with a cane, telling kids to get off my lawn.”

Derek chuckled slightly at that, and Stiles’ confidence was boosted by his reaction.

“I’m gonna be the best old dude ever,” he boasted.

Derek’s smile grew larger, and he actually laughed, then he looked over at Stiles with a fondness that made Stiles heart melt a little. “Why are you so loyal?”

“Because I’m a Stilinski, and Stilinskis love their friends and family with their whole hearts and would do anything for them.“ Stiles decided to just go for it. “And because I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time. I want to be by your side, as a boyfriend, or right hand man, or even just as a friend, if that‘s all you want.” He closed his eyes and waited for what Derek would say.

“I don’t deserve that,” came the quiet response. 

“Yes, you do!” Stiles scolded. “You deserve the best things in the world, Derek Hale, and I will spoil you rotten with love and attention!” 

“But…”

“No buts! You deserve nice things and you’re going to get them!”

Derek laughed loud and hearty. “And you’re one of these nice things?”

Stiles beamed at his reaction. “I sure am! Now come over here and kiss me, and I’ll show you how nice I am!” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively as he patted the sofa beside him.

Derek didn’t sit on the couch, but he went over and knelt in front of Stiles. Their lips met and it was like Stiles saw fireworks behind his eyelids. Derek’s lips were softer than Stiles ever imagined, and Stiles could have gone on kissing him forever.

Unfortunately, they had to separate when Stiles needed oxygen. “See?” he said breathless. “I am the _best_ nice thing.”

Derek’s eyes twinkled. “You are.”

**********

Years later, Stiles watched as the pack gathered outside the new pack house that was built in the preserve a little bit away from where the old Hale house once stood. The Nemeton had finally calmed down with Stiles and Deaton‘s help, and disturbances had become few and far between. The atmosphere was fun and boisterous with a bunch of little kids running around and shrieking happily.

A soft smile sat on Derek’s face as he watched their daughter play with the rest of the pack children. “We made it,” he murmured in Stiles‘ ear. “We really did make our heaven.”

Stiles smiled softly. “We sure did.”

**Author's Note:**

> Derek has a nervous breakdown after so many fights due to Beacon Hills being a beacon for the supernatural. He yells, but it quickly morphs into feeling like he should just be alone without the pack.
> 
> The pack is the season 2 pack, with Derek as alpha!
> 
> Come visit me on my [Tumblr](http://stacinadia.tumblr.com/) and/or [Pillowfort](http://www.pillowfort.social/stacinadia)!


End file.
